Chaos.

I really do. I don’t feel angry, but I DO feel very unmerciful.

For starter’s, it was crazy at work. We had 2 TA’s out, only 1 certified (when we normally should have 3) and 1 TA that came in late PLUS coordinating everyone’s lunches, and then who would be with what kid at THEIR lunch, PLUS 3 subs and only 1 of them being tolerable.

Girl was about to start having a behavior because she doesn’t wait very well and needed to use the restroom, as Sub 1 was waiting in restroom with their own kid. We tell Sub 1 to move and she’s like “Oh I’m watching X go to the bathroom,” and out of all of our kids X is the most harmless and doesn’t need to be harnessed and oh, could you please get the fuck out of the way like we asked because you staring is pissing Girl off. Girl kept having a behavior and combined today she spent a total of 2 hours in her time out room “frogging” and banging her head on the door, banging the door in general, grabbing at my throat and pinch-grabbing ALL of us. And someone rammed the door really hard into my shoulder as we were shutting it to prevent her from anhiliating the staff, so that’s gonna bruise. We have behavior sheets we fill out and apparently now, two weeks before the chaos is over with for good, we’re informed we can’t write things like “aggressive,” or “banging head on door” because that’s “subjective”. WTAF? I mean really, WTAF. One, why bother changing things so close to the finish line? Two, I’m pretty sure “banging head on door” is not subjective. I have a love/hate feeling towards the teacher who instilled this policy.

Another kid had a behavior with Sub 2 in the gym, and Sub 1 was following me and my partner TA and kid around as if we’re a pack (WE ARE NOT), and you never know when someone will need help. We couldn’t ask Sub 3 to go because she was MIA and also this kid HATES her, just like everyone else, so we asked Sub 1. She said “No, Sub 2 knows what she’s doing, I think I’m just going to wander around.” Uhm, excuse me? You just said this morning that we, the TA’s, have it down and “know what we’re doing” so why don’t you rewind and go help like we fucking asked. (In case you’re wondering why me nor my TA went to help it’s because the kid we were with is a 2:1. In hindsight we could have asked him to hold Sub 1’s hand instead for a few minutes, but STILL. Madness.)

Sub 3 didn’t even rotate 5th hour like she was supposed to and just left with different kids, so no one knew who was supposed to pick up the kid that eventually had a behavior and threw their Coke all over the classroom. I’ve always hated Sub 3 though, she’s an idiot so no surprise there.

We found out one of our favorite teachers isn’t coming back next year and they handled it kind of shitty, and our administration is kind of shitty to us overall. This particular teacher happened to get a classroom full of shit parents who are lazy and don’t want to accept responsibility for their kids. Two, their grandma is dying and this teacher is her primary caretaker so she’s been out a lot attending to that. This teacher is also a coach and has been gone a lot taking care of that, and whenever she had a broken hand from a student, or a concussion because she got HEADBUTTED that hard. Supposedly our principal walked in and told her basically she was not going to be asked back because she didn’t get her certificate testing done on time, and she said “My grandmother is dying,” and our principal didn’t care. Normally I’m skeptical to rumors but this I could see.

Our principal is some tall lanky guy who looks like Steve Buschemi’s doppleganger and treats our kids like a joke. He just reeks of Target cologne and has this awkward clown mouth. Like one time at the beginning of the year he barely poked his head inside the classroom I had for my 1:1 student (who was known for being verbally explosive, etc.) she cussed him the fuck out and he left, smirking (OMG if anything gets me riled up its when an adult SMIRKS because of a kid’s behavior, I get so confused because I don’t know who to babysit at that point.)  and then later caught me in our clock out room and casually asked how “our little friend” was doing. I said she’s fine and we worked. He says “Did she actually work?” as I’m standing there with a backpack full of her writing, completed worksheets, and drawings. I wanted to hit him with it and I’ve hated him ever since. Maybe if you were intuitive enough to connect with kids with special needs instead of lankily walk and lurk around, you’d know. Yeah?

THEN THE CHERRY ON TOP WAS GETTING MY FAFSA DENIAL EMAIL FOR SUMMER SEMESTER DUE TO NOT MAKING SATISFACTORY ACADEMIC PROGRESS EVEN THOUGH I MADE B’S.

FUCK TODAY.

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