I joined POF in July of 2016 in the hopes of getting over a soft fuckboy from the Unecessarily Stressful Used Bookstore. Ended up giving a chance to this dude who had messaged me on other apps in the past, whom I ignored, but I remembered him this time because of the quasi-shitty thing he’d said the last time. Yeah, I’m that girl at times.
We began talking and surprisingly – I enjoyed it. I’m very picky and get bored easily which are terrible personality traits to have when mingling and dating. He was smart and inquisitive, and we were both on the same page feeling wise. I was nervous, but hopeful.
We’d been talking for a day or two, he had dropped a hint about meeting up and I swiftly ignored it. Sadly, I don’t remember the conversation word for word, but in essence I quite clearly told him I hated talking on the phone with people unless I knew them WELL. Then one day I was sick, and he called me. I didn’t answer. He called again. I didn’t answer and then I asked him why he was pushing my boundaries. He made up some stupid, manipulative excuse about wanting to get me soup (I know it was an excuse and a lie, but … for sure! Get me, Nervous Nelly, soup and call me, No Phone Phoebe, to bring it over to me, Sicko Suzie. Fucking A, do they not think? Or am I just a giant wall with no ropes)?
Finally it’s late at night, he convinced me to talk to him on the phone (i.e. wore me down, will never happen again). The conversation was okay but he clearly picked up on my hints of being tired and wouldn’t gracefully allow me to get off the phone so I had to bluntly say, “I’m tired and need to get off the phone.” I think he even laughed and said he knew that and was just waiting until I said something??? I mean, I get that kind of teasing because I can do that… but not with people I’m just meeting…
Another thing was he wouldn’t show me a picture of his teeth. I used to be SO JUDGY about people’s teeth, then my firsts’ teeth weren’t perfect and I realize I wouldn’t really care once we’re doing the business and relaxed… except this dude would talk about how his teeth were his insecurity and they were messed up from him getting sick a lot when he was younger (then why does his profile say he likes to keep in shape, when he recently was in the ER waiting to be treated for throwing up… which I ALSO don’t believe because he told me that the same day I was sick, as if it was a Sick Contest?!) I never asked to see a picture of them because lord knows I’d never want to be asked to see a picture of my fat rolls, but … ew. I ended up never meeting him because I didn’t have a job, didn’t know when I’d get one, and thus didn’t see the point in pursuing a relationship when I couldn’t pull my own financial weight for a bit. When I told him he said that was messed up to do out of the blue (??? Another red flag, because when is there ever a good time to hurt someone’s feelings or ego?) and left it at that.
Fast forward to now, he sees me on OkC. Messages me. I don’t respond. Later in the day he messages me again. I don’t respond. A few days later sends me a peace sign….
I mean dude, is it really any wonder you’ve been single?! Harassing someone and trying to wear them down so you can get your ego stroked is not the way to win someone, let alone a woman, over. If I did that to a dude I’d either keep getting ignored or harshly shut down. Fricking A. It didn’t happen for a reason.